tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6320269312957801390.post8694202528874240428..comments2024-03-28T05:59:52.454-07:00Comments on TalkToYoUniverse: Wednesday Worldbuilding Workshop: Orienting by marking insiders vs. outsidersJuliette Wadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02879627074920760712noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6320269312957801390.post-66753629098177544272011-04-07T08:44:33.953-07:002011-04-07T08:44:33.953-07:00Megs, thanks for commenting.
Siri, I'm glad t...Megs, thanks for commenting.<br /><br />Siri, I'm glad to be of help. I really like the complexity of your setup, and I think if you take your time you can do some great stuff with this. Good luck!Juliette Wadehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02879627074920760712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6320269312957801390.post-55943335113026861922011-04-06T19:41:14.501-07:002011-04-06T19:41:14.501-07:00Thank you for the wonderful analysis, Juliette, an...Thank you for the wonderful analysis, Juliette, and thank you to the commenters for adding your impressions! One of the things I set out to do with this story was to write a fantasy with multiple "sides" in a war, but you're absolutely right, there's no reason they all have to be stuffed into the first page or two. Back to the basics: character, setting, conflict, grounding!Siri Paulsonhttp://www.turtleduckpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6320269312957801390.post-34925796264907349072011-04-06T11:27:37.990-07:002011-04-06T11:27:37.990-07:00I absolutely love this piece, but like you said so...I absolutely love this piece, but like you said so much better, Juliette, it leaves me geographically disoriented. <br /><br />But I must admit, this is my first concern: the first time I read it, the first paragraph made NO impression on me except for her dialogue. And because of that, I missed the fact that this was an internal story until the end of the selection. It's one of only a handful of sentences in the whole bit that's written from inside her.<br /><br />I can't help but think, besides tightening up veiwpoint throughout as Juliette suggested, that perhaps it also needs a new or revised first paragraph. The dialogue and the last line are great, but only the dialogue actually made it in for me.Megsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6320269312957801390.post-53331442051497189752011-04-06T10:29:28.587-07:002011-04-06T10:29:28.587-07:00E. Arroyo, you're absolutely right that there&...E. Arroyo, you're absolutely right that there's a lot happening here. The salt packets stand out, and that's really fun, I agree.Juliette Wadehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02879627074920760712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6320269312957801390.post-76503381197243454592011-04-06T10:16:02.542-07:002011-04-06T10:16:02.542-07:00Thanks Siri for sharing this and Juliette for anot...Thanks Siri for sharing this and Juliette for another great workshop. I think there's a lot happening here. I loved the setting. I actually love that they were trading in salt packets, for some reason that stuck in my head.E. Arroyohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06634213563563094173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6320269312957801390.post-9220732095468412722011-04-06T10:01:27.860-07:002011-04-06T10:01:27.860-07:00Thank you, Bluestocking!Thank you, Bluestocking!Juliette Wadehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02879627074920760712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6320269312957801390.post-39851281956697402092011-04-06T09:51:13.262-07:002011-04-06T09:51:13.262-07:00The outsider/insider concept is useful, I think, f...The outsider/insider concept is useful, I think, for any worldbuilding efforts, but especially when the world includes a lot of different subcultures, social classes, etc. Thanks Juliette & Siri!Bluestockinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01225973854788421827noreply@blogger.com