Hey, everyone. I'm happy to be back home and also completely exhausted from such an exciting weekend. I'm sorry I haven't been able to keep my end of the workshop up so well since the end of last week; anyway, here we go.
I had been thinking a bit about inciting events. An inciting event is generally the event that propels you into the main conflict of your story. My friend Janice Hardy mentions it in a great blog post, here (she's got tons of great information on the process of writing and on getting published, so check it out). In her words, "The inciting event is the trigger that sets the rest of the story in motion." She treats it separately from the opening scene, but I'm not sure the two are necessarily separate. It helps to hook your reader with the inciting event as early as possible. I have spent a lot of time in my writing career working on the question of where to start a story, and believe me, it's tricky - but it's worth thinking seriously about.
So what does this have to do with worldbuilding? Well, when you're thinking about how to open your story, you have to take into account both your need to hook the reader, and your need to introduce your world.
We all know the dreaded word, infodumping. We all know we want to avoid it. But how do we go about creating a scene where this information doesn't need to be explained? How do we make it so the information is simply evident in the action?
First, use your POV character. Make sure you know the character's background, culture and motivations to the fullest extent possible, so that you can use the character to help you convey information. This is what I call making your world personal. It's what I've talked about in comments with Jeanne, and what I hope to take further with each of you as this workshop moves forward.
Okay, so far so good. But as you would certainly be quick to point out to me, characters have blind spots and weaknesses; they have things they just don't care about. Use those things, too, as much as you can. After all, you can use a dismissive or contemptuous tone in your character's narration as well as you can other things.
Here's the harder one: what about things that the character considers normal? Things that are totally normal, entirely obvious to the character, are not things you want him or her to talk about. Talking about obvious things leads to completely cringe-worthy "As you know, Bob" dialog, and we don't want that.
So how can we possibly describe the basic parameters of our worlds, knowing that to our character, so much is entirely unremarkable?
The answer is, use conflict and contrast. I have an example of this done simply and elegantly in the real world, here.
And here's the beautiful convergence I've been leading up to: the inciting event, the beginning of the core conflict of the novel, very often is all about the precise type of conflict that can let you give out world information.
Just so I don't sound totally ungrounded, let me give you an example from my drafting of my forthcoming story, Cold Words. Consider the list of events below and ask yourself which one is the best to use for an opening scene:
1. A Human ambassador inadvertently insults the Majesty of the Aurrel, placing a spaceport negotiation in danger.
2. The native liaison asks the Humans to send away the failed ambassador and get a new one.
3. The Human ambassador comes to the native liaison to tell him that he's worried about the motives of the replacement ambassador.
4. The native liaison goes to the Majesty to report the impending arrival of the replacement ambassador and try to rescue the spaceport negotiation.
I wouldn't choose 1 or 2. Any event that occurs before a significant lull, like waiting for a replacement ambassador to arrive, is less optimal because it will require a time break and reduce forward momentum. Furthermore, even though the incident of insult is interesting, it would be hard for readers to understand without significant previous context - which, if this is the first scene, they can't possibly have.
When I wrote my first draft, I chose 4. The story is told in the native liaison's point of view, and thus the main motivating force in the story is his desire to complete the spaceport negotiation successfully (for his own secret reasons). Why not start where you see him pressing his suit with the Majesty, a place where he can show his intense desire for success and share it with the reader?
The answer to that question is this: if he's alone with Majesty, he's in a completely native context where everything is normal. And that means that every piece of normal world information will be really difficult to put in.
So in the end, I chose 3. There's conflict there, because the human ambassador brings a warning that may put the negotiation at even deeper risk. More importantly for this discussion, though, scene #3 puts our native liaison in direct contact with a human. There's conflict, and there's contrast. There are opportunities for the human ambassador to demonstrate his own cultural biases, and for the native liaison to remark on them, thus putting his own world forward for readers to explore. Better yet, the sense of contrast continues forward as he goes to see Majesty, because with the human interaction foremost in his mind, the native liaison is more likely to remark on the quirky cultural things inherent in their interaction.
So, please take a look at what you've written for me in this context. Take a look at the kinds of conflict or contrast opportunities that appear in the scene as you've written it, and then ask yourself how you could tune the circumstances of that scene to make your job that much easier. I hope you can each give me some comments on this topic.
Finally, in the spirit of making your world personal, I'd like to get you started on the eleven questions I used in my last worldbuilding workshop. I'll cut straight to the chase, here: I don't want to see you answer the impersonal questions at all, so I'm putting here below only the questions that relate directly to your protagonist's view of the world. I'd like to see your responses by this coming Friday, May 1.
Here are the questions. Please answer them in the voice of your POV character.
1. What is my home like? How do I visualize its boundaries?
2. What weather and physical conditions do I consider normal? What do I fear?
3. What kind of topography did I grow up in, and how did it influence my physical condition and my concepts of comfort?
4. In what kind of place do I feel most at home? What shapes and textures give me comfort, or discomfort?
5. Who is in charge here? Do I respect them, fear them, both?
6. How do I show who I am in the way I dress? What is comfortable? Will I endure discomfort for the sake of looking good or looking powerful?
7. Where do the things I own come from? Do I worry about getting more?
8. What is delicious to me? What do I consider unworthy of consumption?
9. What are my most prized possessions? Do I hoard anything? Do I have so much of anything that I care little if I must give it away?
10. Who do I consider to be unlike me? Are their differences charming or alarming?
11. Am I in control of my own actions and the happenings around me? What or whom do I believe in?
As always, I welcome any questions or comments.
I'm pretty baffled by your comments about contrast. I really don't get what you're getting at with it. You hardly want to start every novel with trying to throw a character in some new world. I must be missing your point here.
ReplyDeleteJeanne,
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure exactly what you're asking, so ask for clarification if I don't answer your question completely. What I'm talking about is what happens at the beginning of your novel, when you have to assume that the reader knows nothing at all about the world in which the story takes place. Sure, there are series out there with multiple books set in the same world, but you still have instances where someone hasn't read books 1-5, but heard book 6 was good and goes to pick it up. So even if the world isn't new to the character, the world will be new to at least some readers, and the author's task is to give them the parameters of the world as smoothly and solidly as possible up front.
The example I used is an extreme one, in the following way. When introducing a world very different from our own, where there's world information that needs to be imparted or the story can't be understood, I have to use every tool at my disposal to get that information in without infodumping. That's why I talked about using both conflict and contrast. It's about helping the reader by focusing the protagonist's attention on aspects of his own culture he wouldn't normally think about consciously.
In a world not so different from our own, the task is somewhat different. In Dinosaurs Before Dark, information about real world location is dispensed smoothly because it comes out in a situation of conflict, where there's a difference of opinion between the brother and the sister. I suppose that could be called contrast as well, in a way. As author, Mary Pope Osborne is trying to tell us where this story takes place (Frog Creek, Pennsylvania) - but she does it by having the brother give a sarcastic line about the probability of finding monsters there.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is that if there are aspects of your world that are unique, and that readers need to know in order to understand the story, it's helpful to begin with (or at least to include) a scene that gives those elements some attention. Like the way you have your character worrying about the punishments for window-cracking, and this allows you to specify the justice system of your world without dissertating on the subject. Does that help?
Here's another thought, about your story specifically. You have Wrai preparing to break and enter, which is quite a tense situation, but you seem to be trying to hide the fact that he's about to steal from his own father's mansion until the end of the scene you sent. I say "trying to hide" because I get the sense that Wrai is very motivated by the fact that this is his father he's about to steal from, and so I am surprised that I don't see that as part of his awareness of the situation from the very beginning of the scene. This also appears to me to be a situation of conflict and contrast, where you could get a lot of world mileage that you don't currently have. Wrai is a thief; his father owns a mansion. Big difference. It instantly makes you wonder, "How did this guy end up as a thief?" "What happened between him and his father?" Right now we don't know anything about that, but all kinds of really interesting social information about the world is inherent in those questions. Right now what you're showing us in the scene is the physical setting and economy and justice system, but if you take advantage of the father-son angle, you could get into some more personal judgments about riches and poverty, for example, about family and obligation, etc. Those are things I believe would come out naturally as a result of a very small change, and they would enhance my sense of your world a lot.
ReplyDeleteQuick question about the list of questions we're answering: In what context should I be answering them? I feel like if I were to answer them lierally, from my protagonists point of view he will be talking about nothing but his home time period. Much/all of the story takes place in the future. So while this will give back story and motivation for my protagonist, it won't give anything about the world in which the story takes place.
ReplyDeleteTo remedy this, could I perhaps have Lanuz answer the questions from the future time period? He would answer questions like, "What is my home like?" literally and talk about his actual home in the past, but when he gets to questions like, "Who is in charge here? Do I respect them, fear them, both?" maybe "here" could mean where he is in the future setting, or he could answer it for both.
Yes, indeed, Colin. Actually you've got a great opportunity here, because you've got the contrast between Lanuz's home and the future world to deal with. For the purposes of getting into your protagonist's head, I would like you to answer the questions about his home time period. I'm assuming that he knows nothing about the future time period when he first gets there, correct? So what you want to do is ground yourself as thoroughly as possible in his knowledge of how things are *supposed* to work. That will allow you to come back to the scene with a better sense of what will surprise Lanuz, what will upset him, maybe even how you might change the focus of the scene to bring his disorientation to the forefront. Because I think that aspect of it is a big deal. I've been meaning to ask you, also: please as you answer the questions, can you also answer the question of how he got his metal arm, how he conceptualizes its function and what it means to him? Is it a product of the old world or the new? Is it a curse or a blessing? Etc.
ReplyDeleteGreat. Thank you for that. Now I know what I'm doing. You're right that I should get into Lanuz's head more. Some of these questions are interesting because I hadn't even thought of them before. I'll basically need to create that aspect of his life if I want to answer those questions.
ReplyDeleteAs for the arm, that'll confuse things. When he woke up in the future, that's when he realized he had it. Basically, at the point of picking up the Sword of Power his arm was destroyed and in this same event he was transported to the future. It's likely that scene would have been better as an "inciting event" because that was really what started everything off, but it didn't show any aspect of the world the story takes place in so I decided against using it here. So anyways, the point is, if I'm answering the questions in the point of view of Lanuz in his original time period, he has no knowledge of the metal arm or how he got it.
So what do you know about why he has it? To me, it's the most unique aspect of the story, so I'd like to know more about it.
ReplyDeleteI donno about Unique. Edward Lerner has a character who has a really neat prostetic, bionic arm. The circumstances are totally different, of course...
ReplyDeleteActually, I don't want to bring in that he's stealing from his father sooner because it involves lengthy explanation. Rather to my own dissatisfaction (but it happens with an in medias res beginning) soon after the beginning scene there are flashbacks that explain in depth exactly what the situation is with his father. It's much to much and not immediate enough to put into the first scene. A good part of this chapter is devoted to the why of this situation.
ReplyDeleteAlso just saying he's stealing from his own father is extremely unsympathetic without the explanation. It is no way to "hook" the reader which I consider even more important that showing worldbulding.
The inciting incident is skipped in my opening. The inciting incident was when he discovered that there was someone who would pay a lot for--something he knew his father had.
While I now see what you're getting at and agree with you to a large extent, I don't think that you will necessarily put that in the first 500 words.
1. Home? Where ever there's a game and a profit to be made. He frowns. But Sharista--her mother died while I was gone. Gambling. If something happened to her too. . .
ReplyDelete2. As long as I don't have guards at my heels, it doesn't matter much, does it? Still the southron is nice. I've my eye on a gambling hall down there in Genira.
3. Where ever the players my mother was with that year had a stage to perform on is where I grew up. Before she was too sick to sing, we had a good life. As long as we stayed away from that dung-eating father of mine.
4. Cities for me. Those open plains up in the north give me the cramp. Mountains aren't much better. I'll take a city with side streets to fade into if you need to.
5. Now that's a good question and if they don't go to fighting over it, that'll be a blessing from the faceless goddess. Stupid idiots to try to depose the Princess after they swore her fealty as though she'd sit still for that. With an army at her back. Wrai spits. Stupid nobles. Don't have the brains Riarmar gave a goat.
6. The best thing is to look not too rich or two poor. Ordinary. It's no good being remembered if you can help it--or looking too fat and asking to have your purse cut.
7. Wrai shakes the dice in his hand. Where do you think? But I keep what I have in my purse. Never be without a few good gold crowns for an emergency. Still--that has to change if I'm going to take Sharista with me. Maybe I should have changed it sooner. Would Eleora have lived if she'd been with me? He frowns, looking thoughtful. But she knew what I was when she married me.
8. A good goblet of wine. A nice roast fowl. I've seen some of those southron eat raw fish--but I'd have to be starving to try it.
9. He shakes his dice again and smiles. Good weighted dice aren't easy to make. I've had these a while.
10. Fat nobles--meant for the plucking but make sure you're not caught at it. They say the mages are dangerous. They keep to themselves so I don't worry about that.
11. Is anyone in control? But you weight the odds the best that you can. Now the faceless goddess has mostly stood by me. No complaints. You can't expect a goddess to protect you from every roll of the die. Riarmar and her husband are too fine for me. I like a goddess who's on the outs like I am.
Juliette Said: "So what do you know about why he has it? To me, it's the most unique aspect of the story, so I'd like to know more about it."
ReplyDeleteTrue. Even though Lanuz doesn't know much about it, I certainly do. Basically, the way I see it is as a manifestation of Lanuz's physical strength. His might. It's one of the 3 requirements to wielding the Sword of Power. You have to be strong to pick up such a heavy sword.
As for the reason he has it, I've mentioned that. He found the Sword of Power, tried to pick it up, succeeded (briefly) and was distracted. Upon losing his focus he felt the full weight of the sword and it essentially destroyed his arm and any muscles in his chest or back used for lifting. At which point he was sent into the future.
He was found by a mysterious sect of people I have dubbed the Runescribers (subject to change). Without going into too much detail, this is an ancient group of people with hidden knowledge of some very powerful stuff. Mainly, they deal with Runes which are symbols that have special meanings. There are three different groups of these people. The group that found Lanuz deal with technological knowledge. They built his arm and attached it to him.
Throughout the story Lanuz goes through some "transformations". Each one deals with the 3 different requirements to wielding the Sword of Power. The first one dealing with might. Lanuz acquiring the mechanical arm is really just the first step. Along the way it is obviously damaged and Allen repairs it (as evident in the excerpt for this workshop). Eventually, Allen will study and improve the arm so that it is better able to serve Lanuz in wielding a sword (one thing the original model doesn't do very well).
As for how Lanuz sees it, he doesn't really care so long as it lets him wield a sword to the best of his abilities.
Catreona,
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen a bionic arm put on a time traveler before. That's what I meant. I've seen bionic arms here and there.
Oh, and Catreona, I fully understand the concept of a mechanical arm is not all that unique. It's definitely very derived. I think what sort of makes it unique is the concept of merging fantasy with scifi. Lanuz is sort of a typical fantasy hero archetype, but he's thrown into a somewhat typical scifi world, and on top of that it is even a part of his own body now.
ReplyDeleteI dunno, not extremely unique, but I think it's kind of a cool concept.
Jeanne,
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have to disagree with you on this. Your character's motivation for doing what he's doing is vitally important for the momentum of the scene. I don't see why stealing from one's own father isn't a hook - it certainly made me curious. Curiosity is what hooks are all about, not liking the protagonist, necessarily. I'm not suggesting that you explain his entire motivation. Just hint at it in his internalization, and build curiosity, so your readers will be eager to hear the full explanation when you provide it.
Also, I don't think that the offer is the inciting event. My gut feeling is that it corresponds to a #1 or #2 in my discussion above, in that it occurs before a lull during which Wrai decides whether the job is worth taking. I think the robbery itself is the inciting event - because Wrai's desire for the money, and the security, and the incredible risk he has to take in order to achieve it, are great motivators for the scene, and I have to assume that the consequences of this will be what drives the story subsequently. Right now he seems like he's doing it because it's a lot of money and why not. I think the hook would be stronger if all those other motivations were drawn clearly from the start.
I'll be posting the answers in a day or so. But while you've been off Nebula-ing, Juliette, I've been pondering what would improve the worldbuilding.
ReplyDeleteThe scene that I sent is part of scene two - the first scene involves Jasmine recording her journal and planning the sort of mischief that she considers normal. Scene two involves her contrasting her plans with reality, as she reluctantly heads towards the briefing.
I'm considering rewriting by stealing elements from the longer section of scene two (Jasmine complains that she wasn't a willing recruit into the VoidWatch, but is serving her sentence for a time-machine-related offence), and from scene six (Jasmine wakes up in what looks exactly like her bedroom at home, but she knows that it isn't - because the VoidWatch have powerful matter-duplication tech - this leads her into musing sarcastically upon her new role serving, protecting and repairing timelines), and from the final scene (which I haven't written, but it involved Jasmine discovering that VoidWatch tech also allows her to make a videophone call across timelines, and having to explain to her parents why she hasn't called sooner, and just what the hell she's been up to).
I'll give your points some serious consideration. I got a lot of feedback about Wrai early on objecting to his being unsympathetic because he's a thief, but you may very well be right. It's certainly something to think about. :)
ReplyDeleteJuliette,
ReplyDeleteI may not be able to answer the questions by May 1st, as I'm spending the end of the week with friends and won't be back before Monday. I think I'll provide answers from different characters.
Khajidu,
ReplyDeleteIt's very important for you to keep your answers consistent with one person or another. Please answer them all for your POV character. If you feel like you need to do it for another character, please independently address the whole set for that character.
Collin,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. I did *not* mean to be condescending. I think your storyline, with the blending of Fantasy and SF, sounds very promising.
Working on the questions. No. 3 puzzles me now as it did in the first workshop. How does topography influence your concept of comfort? Whether you grew up on the planes or in the mountains or by the sea, you're still going to consider central heating and indoor plumbing essential comforts.
ReplyDeleteDon't mind me. I'm not complaining, just being a smart ass.
Thanks Catreona. I didn't think you were being condescending though. I welcome any criticism. Believe me, I've had close friends tell me a lot worse about my writing. I take it all as helpfull insight into how to improve my creative process.
ReplyDeleteJuliette,
ReplyDeleteI have different POV characters during the course of the story. Should I answer the questions from the POV of the character telling my excerpt, the most prominent one, or both? I have characters from different cultures, including sentient ships.
I'm glad you're having fun, Catreona.
ReplyDeleteColin,
ReplyDeleteThe reason I said the arm was the most unique thing is you have to admit swords of power have been done a lot. As a reader, I'd want to see some kind of twist in the traditional idea coming from the combination of fantasy and science fiction, and the most obvious element of that is the arm.
It sounds from your description as though the alterations he undergoes are part of his readiness to wield the sword. Is there some secret to the sword that makes these alterations necessary? What is his role in getting the alterations? At least the first one seems like an accident. I'm surprised that a person from the past can get a bionic arm and not go "Eww! get it off me!" So that's why I'm wondering how he feels about it. Something like that could end up deepening your plot and giving extra dimension to the story.
Khajidu,
ReplyDeleteFor the purposes of finishing your novel, it would be good to have a sense of how various characters view the world. However, for the purposes of this workshop, I think you should concentrate on the viewpoint of the character who does the narrating in the scene you submitted (Tsumw). One thing you might also want to consider is what kind of inciting event might give us momentum into the main conflict of your story. I'm assuming the finding of the necklace is important, since it must be connected to the sentient ship, but you have a lot of information put into the dialogue that isn't clearly related. Can you comment for me at some point on what you intend with the information you're giving us, say about evolution etc.? Where do you want the story to go after this scene?
What is my home like? How do I visualize its boundaries?
ReplyDeleteJasmine grew up in a large family of telepaths, since the engineered telepathic gene usually breeds true (her father is not a telepath, but he has a different engineered ability). She has definite ideas about her privacy, and why you should never violate it under any circumstances. She also has definite ideas about your privacy, and why the hell are you making such a big deal about it?
Boundaries? What are they?
What weather and physical conditions do I consider normal? What do I fear?
Jasmine grew up in Melbourne, Australia, and here we joke that four seasons in one day is the norm. So, highly-variable weather that cannot be trusted to remain wet or dry or windy or sunny - make sure you bring your raincoat and your sunscreen.
When she was younger, Jasmine’s mother was badly burned. As she was a fully functional telepath, Jasmine “remembers” exactly what that felt like. Jasmine is terrified of fire.
While she spends much of her time trying to avoid her sentence (which she often refers to as the greatest injustice in the history of every timeline, ever), she is also afraid that she very much deserves her punishment. But the trouble with causing a serious temporal paradox is that she did it and she didn't do it – it comes out both ways at once. As a result, her memory is rather hazy on the details of what she did. If she did it.
What kind of topography did I grow up in, and how did it influence my physical condition and my concepts of comfort?
Slightly erratic weather, but a human-normal topography and concepts of comfort applicable to a Western-civilisation derived high-tech future.
In what kind of place do I feel most at home? What shapes and textures give me comfort, or discomfort?
She feels most at home when sent to her room - Jasmine spent a lot of her misspent youth grounded, since she always got caught out sooner or later, because her telepathic mother could only be fooled for so long. Her sisters used to joke that trouble was Jasmine's natural habitat.
Who is in charge here? Do I respect them, fear them, both?
A character who appears just after the end of the excerpt is in charge. Jasmine shows her typical lack of respect until she discovers that the woman is a famous VoidWatch leader. Jasmine then starts to question what someone so senior in the VoidWatch is doing here in this backwater timeline.
How do I show who I am in the way I dress? What is comfortable? Will I endure discomfort for the sake of looking good or looking powerful?
Damn. The excerpt I sent didn't outline how she was dressed (that got cut due to the word limit). She was wearing the most uncomfortable and embarrassing outfit she could bear to wear, because hiding in mindshadows is so much easier if she is so embarrassed that she REALLY wants to hide.
At other times, Jasmine is something of a tomboy, and she normally dresses for comfort. She will dress up if the situation demands it, though (to Jasmine, this usually means that there is a cute boy involved).
Where do the things I own come from? Do I worry about getting more?
Jasmine comes from a wealthy family. But even in this future, money doesn't grow on trees (despite the best efforts of the bioengineering corporations). It will come as a rude shock to her later on in the story when she actually has to work for a living. She knows that that sort of thing happens...to other people. But it's never happened to her before. She went from her wealthy family providing necessities (and luxuries) straight to the VoidWatch providing necessities (luxuries available only when earned, not when demanded).
What is delicious to me? What do I consider unworthy of consumption?
Jasmine eats normal human food – perhaps more cheeseburgers and similar junk than is really healthy, but she is young and has a good metabolism. She also inherited her father's engineered ability, and it is affected by what she eats. But, like her telepathy, that other ability is currently broken. What she's eating now may have repercussions later on if/when her ability is restored.
What are my most prized possessions? Do I hoard anything? Do I have so much of anything that I care little if I must give it away?
Her two most prized possessions are her wristcomp and her wardrobe.
Her wristcomp contains her journal, and one result of the time-crime she did and didn't commit is that the journal contains entries detailing the next several decades. If she can work up the courage to look. And if she can break the timelocks that stop her from seeing tomorrow's entry before tomorrow becomes yesterday.
Her wardrobe is similar to a Star Trek replicator, but it can only produce clothing. Where else is she going to get embarrassing outfits so that she can hide in mindshadows?
Who do I consider to be unlike me? Are their differences charming or alarming?
Alaric. Her ex-boyfriend. And he has a fire-related ability, which terrifies her. Knowing how she felt about fire, he always controlled himself around her. She doubts he will continue to do so, since they didn't part on very good terms.
Am I in control of my own actions and the happenings around me? What or whom do I believe in?
Jasmine keeps rebelling because it is the one small measure of control she has. Don't try to tell her that the rules are for her own good.
She doesn't believe in the gods Alaric believes in. That's because she's met them (well, SOMEONE had to work out what she did and didn't do, and punish her for it). And at some point, she's going to say that she doesn't believe in them because she's met them. Right in front of Alaric.
Juliette,
ReplyDeleteThe evolution thing was more a background thing, I may have to put it later in the story.
The necklace is indeed connected to the ship. I was additionnaly planning to answer the questions from the point of view of the ship, as well as Tsumw's, as was planned, in order to give more perspective to the world.
However, I may be late, as I'm currently leaving to spend the weekend with friends, and I won't be able to post the answers before Monday.
Khajidu,
ReplyDeleteMonday is fine. I think you're right to think of moving the evolution thing a little later. I'd like to see the finding of the necklace and its consequence, especially if the necklace makes their lives change.
David,
ReplyDeleteI got your comment twice. I have moderation on in case of spammers; anyway, your answers are up. Is there any way you could try to do this in first person, from the point of view of Jasmine, instead of about her?
Juliette,
ReplyDeleteI wasn't sure if it had gone through - normally I get a message saying that "Your comment will appear after moderation", or something like that. This time I got nothing at all, and my comments just seemed to disappear - so I tried again. Sorry about the double post.
I like the idea of writing the answers from Jasmine's POV. I'm going to start on that right now.
What is my home like? How do I visualize its boundaries?
ReplyDeleteI grew up in a large family of telepaths, since the engineered telepathic gene usually breeds true. Large family plus telepathy equals very little privacy, and how am I supposed to plan my Saturday night misbehaviour if my telepathic mother knows my plans almost before I do?
I'll find a way. Trust me. But I can't hide in her mindshadows. That means hiding in her memories of burning, and I can't do that. Not again.
Boundaries? What are they? Oh, like fences and curfews, and the old defences left over from the Goblin Wars? Yeah, I worked out how to get around most of those by the time I was ten years old. It's the telepathy that catches me out, every time. Sigh. Grounded again!
What weather and physical conditions do I consider normal? What do I fear?
Like any local girl, I know that I can trust the weather in Melbourne about as much as I can trust the average teenage boy to faithfully juggle a vow of celibacy and a nymphomaniac. Four seasons in one day is the norm. So, “normal” is highly-variable weather that can be wet or dry or windy or sunny - make sure you bring your raincoat and your sunscreen.
I don't like to admit that I'm afraid of anything, but I guess if I have to be honest about it, I am terrified of fire. My mother was badly burned when she crashed a rambike when was about my age. And when I was younger and my telepathy worked properly, I poked my mind into her memories, despite her best efforts at shielding me from them. So I “remember” exactly what burning alive feels like. Is it any wonder that I hate fire? I don't want to talk about this any more.
Being sentenced to serve in the VoidWatch is the greatest injustice in the history of every timeline, ever. But the one thing that scares me even more than burning, is the possibility that I deserve my punishment. When Ben died, I would have sold my soul to get him back. And then I remembered my grandmother's highly-illegal time machine. I think I tried to change history, and it turned out badly. And then I think I tried to change it back, so that it never happened. And that means that I paradoxed. It turned out both ways at once, and neither way. Or something like that. Anyway, it means that I'm being punished for a crime that I may have stopped myself from committing, and don't remember committing anyway. So, did I actually do it?
What kind of topography did I grow up in, and how did it influence my physical condition and my concepts of comfort?
Slightly erratic weather, but a human-normal topography and concepts of comfort applicable to my Western-civilisation derived high-tech future.
In what kind of place do I feel most at home? What shapes and textures give me comfort, or discomfort?
I guess that I feel most at home when sent to my room - I spent a lot of my misspent youth grounded, since I always got caught out sooner or later, because my telepathic mother could only be fooled for so long. My sisters used to joke that trouble was my natural habitat.
Who is in charge here? Do I respect them, fear them, both?
Flower Girl is in charge. Well, what do you expect me to call her? She has green skin, and little white flowers growing in her hair. Oh, you haven't seen her yet. Well, that's what she looks like.
Turns out, her name is Riko, and she's kind of famous in the VoidWatch. I have no idea what the hell she's doing here in this backwater timeline.
How do I show who I am in the way I dress? What is comfortable? Will I endure discomfort for the sake of looking good or looking powerful?
I will endure discomfort for the sake of trying to avoid my sentence. Just as well that excerpt didn't get to the point where I described how I was dressed, since I was wearing the most uncomfortable and embarrassing outfit I could bear to wear, because hiding in mindshadows is so much easier if I am so embarrassed that I REALLY want to hide.
At other times, I'm something of a tomboy, and I normally dress for comfort. But I will dress up if the situation demands it, though...and, yes, that usually means that there is a cute boy involved.
Where do the things I own come from? Do I worry about getting more?
I come from a wealthy family. But even I know that money doesn't grow on trees (despite the best efforts of the bioengineering corporations). Working for a living happens...it just happens to other people, that's all. I went straight from my family to the VoidWatch, so I've never had to worry about where something would come from. There's always something or someone happy to provide it.
Okay, so on some level, I know it doesn't work like that. But it always has worked like that for me. Why would it change?
What is delicious to me? What do I consider unworthy of consumption?
I eat normal human food – perhaps more cheeseburgers and similar junk than is really healthy, but I'm young and I have a good metabolism.
I also inherited my father's engineered ability, and that meant that I had to watch what I ate, or it would be watching me right back! But, like my telepathy, that other ability is currently broken. What I'm eating now may have repercussions later on if/when I my broken abilities ever heal, but I'm not really thinking that far ahead right now.
What are my most prized possessions? Do I hoard anything? Do I have so much of anything that I care little if I must give it away?
My two most prized possessions are my wristcomp and my wardrobe.
My wristcomp contains my journal, and one result of the time-crime that I did and didn't commit is that the journal contains entries detailing the next several decades. If I can just work up the courage to look. And if I can break the timelocks that stop me from seeing tomorrow's entry before tomorrow becomes yesterday.
My wardrobe is similar to a Star Trek replicator, but it can only produce clothing. Where else can I get those embarrassing outfits so that I can hide in your mindshadows?
Who do I consider to be unlike me? Are their differences charming or alarming?
Alaric. My ex-boyfriend. And he has a fire-related ability, which terrifies me. He used to hold back, knowing how I felt about fire. But, since we didn't part on good terms, I'm not sure that he'll be able to resist playing with fire around me.
And the people I'm supposed to be working with in the VoidWatch. Since the VoidWatch recruits from all sorts of alternate realities, you just wouldn't believe how strange some of their operatives are.
Am I in control of my own actions and the happenings around me? What or whom do I believe in?
I keep rebelling because it is the one small measure of control I have. Don't try to tell me that all these rules are for my own good. If you want me to obey a rule, tell me to break it. Ooops! I probably shouldn't have told you that.
I don't believe in the gods Alaric believes in. That's because I've met them. Hey, who do you think untangled the paradox and figured out that someone caused it, and needed to be punished? Even I didn't know that I'd done it.
And now I've just put my mouth into overdrive while my brain is idling away in neutral. Again. I've just said to Alaric that I don't believe in his gods because I've met them. And it took him all of five seconds to figure out that I'd met the Goddess of Justice under less-than-favourable circumstances.
Welcome to my worlds.
Juliette,
ReplyDeleteA friend sprang a project on me this afternoon not long after I found out I have to go out tomorrow, which will kill the better part of that afternoon. So, though I'll do my level best to get the rest of the questions answered before 12:01 AM, May Second, I can't absolutely promise. Therefore, I'm providing below the first section, Qs 1-4.
1. What is my home like? How do I visualize its boundaries?
I was born in orbit, but was raised pretty much my whole life on Strlinkmrlad. So, I consider the planet my home in general terms. Specifically my home is the farm. Whether it's because this is something Keith and I have built together or whether it is that someone who works the land, a gardener, a farmer, comes to feel affection for the land and almost to become one with it I don't know. But, however it may be, this place where I live, the house that Keith built with his own hands, the land and domes and buildings where we work, the air and water, the very skies with their volatile weather and their nighttime expanse of stars is a part of me, almost as my husband and children are part of me. No, I'm not mad and I'm not a hermit. But, I'm never entirely at ease away from the farm.
2. What weather and physical conditions do I consider normal? What do I fear?
The region where I live is at the warm end of the temperate spectrum. The winter is mild with a short period of sustained frost. Snow is rare though not unknown. Summer is hot and often dry, requiring irrigation. It's often dusty in town during summer and Fall, sometimes late spring as well. The weather is changeable A clear, sunny sky may in a moment and with no warning turn into a storm with high winds, lashing rain and at high summer terrific thunder and lightning. Very occasionally we'll get a cyclone from the western planes or, more rarely still, a dust storm from the desert beyond. These events are very frightening.
3. What kind of topography did I grow up in, and how did it influence my physical condition and my concepts of comfort?
The region I live in is neither hill country nor plane but a rolling, undulating mix of the two. To the east are hills and beyond them mountains. To the west are planes and beyond them deserts where the land is as flat as a tabletop for hundreds, thousands of miles. But here there are rises and little hollows, Meandering watercourses and sudden prominences. For the most part the region is sparsely wooded, though there are occasional dense stands of trees, especially near streams and little rivers. A visitor from another region once said in my hearing that it was picturesque. I don't know about that, but it's familiar and comfortable. I shouldn't like to be in the mountains, thrusting up into the sky, nor yet the planes where there's nothing to rest your eye on, nothing but an immense flatness.
4. In what kind of place do I feel most at home? What shapes and textures give me comfort, or discomfort?
I prefer small towns, low-rise buildings, earth tones, curves. This may well reflect the topography that is most familiar and comfortable to me. I like areas containing lots of plants, not great stretches of pavement.
Jean, Forgot to say earlier: I enjoyed your answers very much. They brought Wrai to life for me and piqued my interest in the story.
ReplyDeleteDavid, while I understand why Juliette wants the answers from Jasmin's own POV, I found your answers most entertaining. You seem to have a wry affection for the obnoxious little brat. I really hope to get the oppertunity of reading the whole story at some point.
1. What is my home like? How do I visualize its boundaries?
ReplyDeleteThe sprawling hills and the forested glades of the countryside make up for most of what I'd call home. Most of my time is spent out in the wilds patrolling, keeping our fortified village safe along with my companions, the other men and women of the watch. I think we have all become a bit more comfortable out there than we are amongst the stone walls and cobbled streets of the village.
When I'm not out on watch, I'll be at the complex. The quarters there are comfortable, but not so much as to get used to it. There'll always be a warm fire and a nice meal waiting for us when we get back. It's nice to spend time with my friends when we aren't on edge. Having drinks with Davinaw and the guys. Sometimes I'll spend an evening sitting out on the ramparts with Anara. Those are definitely the times that I cherish most.
Our boundaries are wide, but they close in on us every day. Our main duty at the watch is to protect these boundaries from the varied threats. Normally just simple bandits, but there are always squads of soldiers from outlying areas, and occasionally we'll have a group of Reijak wander by.
2. What weather and physical conditions do I consider normal? What do I fear?
Eh, the weather's nothing to complain about, certainly nothing to fear. You prepare for any occasion. Sure, it rains just about every day, and when that lets up the fog rolls in. But we have the odd days where the sun will roll out from behind the clouds and shine his cheery face on us.
3. What kind of topography did I grow up in, and how did it influence my physical condition and my concepts of comfort?
As I mentioned, we have hills and small glades in the outlying regions. The village itself is held in a small valley with a river running through. Farther out, beyond the hills, there are large mountain ranges flanking our west and vast empty plains stretch out to the east. This has kept us relatively safe from the events of the wider world.
As a young child, I and my friends would run through the hills and the trees far from home without worrying our parents overly much. Still, at a young age, most of us were recruited to the watch. It seems that things have changed since those innocent times.
4. In what kind of place do I feel most at home? What shapes and textures give me comfort, or discomfort?
It's difficult to say. Whether I'm more at home in the wilds, my senses alert, waking before dawn, keeping concealed, doing battle when need be; or whether I'm more at home in the comforts of the complex, good friends, good food, and hopefully the love of a beautiful girl.
Maybe the answer is both.
5. Who is in charge here? Do I respect them, fear them, both?
There is the village council. Surely we must respect them and their decisions as they relate to the village itself. And they tend to do a good job at it. Occasionally the minor bickering, but that's to be expected considering the weight of their responsibilities.
As for the watch, we generally govern ourselves. I guess you would say that I'm one of those in charge here. Along with the others on the board. We address the logistics, tactics, and other details of daily and long term operations of the watch. The others that serve with me are generally honorable and respectable. In the light of our job, petty squabbles are meaningless.
In a broader scope, no one's really in charge. The various regions are independently governed, and no one rules over us all. Maybe that's part of the problem. Maybe if we all banned together - eh, unlikely.
6. How do I show who I am in the way I dress? What is comfortable? Will I endure discomfort for the sake of looking good or looking powerful?
I wear what I need to get the job done. It's not always comfortable, and it doesn't always look great, but if it means the difference between an injury, or even death, then it's worth it.
7. Where do the things I own come from? Do I worry about getting more?
In general, much of what we use is provided by the village. In return we offer protection.
8. What is delicious to me? What do I consider unworthy of consumption?
Ah, I'm not much for delicacies. Give me a nice roast lamb and a warm ale and I'll be happy.
What wouldn't I eat? From what I hear those Reijak have some odd dishes. I don't know how true those rumors are though.
9. What are my most prized possessions? Do I hoard anything? Do I have so much of anything that I care little if I must give it away?
My only real possession of much interest is my sword. It has always been curious to me. It was given to me by my father and apparently he by his. He didn't provide much knowledge of it. The unintelligible symbols etched into its blade seem old. The edge has dulled over what must be countless generations of usage. I would trade it in for a better one, but I have never been able to shake the feeling that I should keep it around.
10. Who do I consider to be unlike me? Are their differences charming or alarming?
Yea, I'd have to say the Reijak are probably most unlike me. Probably alarmingly so. They have such a different way of seeing the world. Well, to be fair I guess they are quite a bit like us. Maybe it's their appearance that makes me think that way. It's the stone - the "reij" I guess they call it. Much like I might grow hair on my head or a beard on my chin, the Reijak have a kind of stone looking material covering their head, and the men their faces. It's a bit odd to see at first.
I guess the people of the village are mostly different from me - from all of us at the watch. While they are hard working folk, and they certainly have their share of concerns, things just look different when you've been on watch.
And... I'd say Anara is different from - well, she's not like anyone really. Such grace with the bow. She can blend into the shadow like no other. I respect her combat ability and her knowledge of battle tactics.
11. Am I in control of my own actions and the happenings around me? What or whom do I believe in?
Ah, we all like to think we're in control don't we. For the most part I'd say I am. Sure, I couldn't just up and leave. Go off and do what I like with no fear of consequences. We all have a duty, and those duties control us - me at least.
I believe in Order. I believe that Order will triumph over Chaos. I believe - maybe I should be saying "hope." It's getting harder to see the Order of things much anymore. I'd like to think the recent trend is temporary, and that Chaos will eventually be reigned in, but I guess I just don't know. We have to prepare for the worst. We have to do something to aid in the restoration of Order to our land. I think all the people of our village could agree to that.